What, exactly is the connection?

For me it’s hard to seperate dogs and Dharma. I entered a meditation path with a loyal companion by my side and continue to learn so much with our two rescues. When paying deep attention anyone or anything can offer beneficial lessons. I feel fortunate to have incorporated this mindset early on in my practice.

Noticing the way our dogs interact with the world often opens up a new perspective for me. Trying to maintain control of them on walks, while also giving them freedom to be who they are, is a constant challenge and a unique meditation in itself.

What is Dharma?

Definition of dharma (source: Merriam-Webster.com)

1Hinduism : an individual’s duty fulfilled by observance of custom or law

2Hinduism and Buddhism a: the basic principles of cosmic or individual existence : divine law b: conformity to one’s duty and nature

Above is the classic definition of dharma. In Buddhism it can mean the same but it can also mean any phenomena. Also in Buddhism, Dharma (with a capital D) denotes the teachings of the Buddha. It is important to understand the subtle difference of definitions in Buddhism compared to everyday language. The same words are used for different purposes, but that is for another post.

What I am speaking of in this post is mainly phenomena but also informed by the Buddha’s teachings. So, for me, the two definitions are almost always inseperable. If we are able to widen our minds enough, to fully comprehend the depth of phenomena as dharma, or even Dharma, we realize dharma is life. Life as it happens.

Dogs have been my best teachers.

Riley, the Best Friend I Ever Had

From the moment I started on this path I have had a canine companion. Our dog, Riley, was by my side for weeks while I was recovering in bed. Our bond became so tight during that time. He left our plane on February 10, 2020 and a new chapter in my life and practice began. Being with Riley as he passed is one of the greatest blessings of my life. I am so grateful for the friendship we shared.

Not everyone can understand how a dog can leave such an impression in ones life. That is truly unfortunate for them.

Dogma, how to recognize it.

Definition of dogma

1a: something held as an established opinion especially: a definite authoritative tenet b: a code of such tenets pedagogical dogmac: a point of view or tenet put forth as authoritative without adequate grounds

2: a doctrine or body of doctrines concerning faith or morals formally stated and authoritatively proclaimed by a church

In a short amount of time with the Buddhas teachings and one will see the absence of dogma.

There are, however, the Five Precepts:

1. to abstain from taking life

2. to abstain from taking what is not given

3. to abstain from sensuous misconduct

4. to abstain from false speech

5. to abstain from intoxicants as tending to cloud the mind

These are not rules for one for to be judged by but a set of self-avowed practices to undertake in an effort to lead a more peaceful life. The Buddha stated to not take his word on the effectiveness of these practices. Rather, he proclaimed, one should take these on for themselves and determine whether or not they are beneficial.

Dogma tends to trap one into a sense of knowing. In this mindset we are usually unwilling to entertain opposing viewpoints. Is growth possible when we are so entrenched in a belief that to question it is upsetting? The Buddhas Dharma encourages curiosity and investigation. As we proceed along our path, questioning what we’ve been taught and what we believe, we begin to open up to others in a more organic way.

Denouement and Dedication

I can’t state the depth of the teachings Riley offered. As I continue to get to know Lucy and Cooper more, and they continue to grow and change, lessons unfold daily. Not to mention the amount of joy we bring to each others life. For me, the student-teacher relationship can’t be more clear than my bond with my dogs. It’s hard to tell most days which one is student and which is teacher, but isn’t that also a lesson?

This post, website, and my practice are dedicated to all beings, in all forms. May we all be loved. May we live in peace. May joy touch our hearts daily. Thank you for you precious time, I do not take that for granted. Prayers for Ukraine.

In this post I will explain just a few of the benefits that meditation has brought to my life. I am not a meditation teacher nor do I claim to have extensive experience over any other person. This is merely a vehicle for me to share my experiences from the past few years, which have been extremely transformative and liberating.

How I Came To Meditation

The last thing I was looking for as my marriage came to an end was another relationship. Somehow that’s exactly what happened. Reuniting with an old friend from high school turned into new love. I moved in with her family and that’s when my stress starting elevating. The family dynamic was very different than anything I had experienced. On top of that her mother lived in an in-law apartment and was a constant presence.

A couple years of inappropriately managing my stress and a lack of self reflection led to a pinched nerve in my neck. Many hours of lamenting my circumstances and replaying the list of people to blame for my discomfort led to a sudden breakthrough. It was all me and my reaction to people and the events around me that cause my stress. Quite a watershed moment for me.

I immediately started looking for books on meditation and was repeatedly drawn to Buddhism.

Finding Spirituality Through Meditation

Initially it was wonderful and liberating to find teachings, basically an entire life philosophy, that resonated so deeply with me. Never did I think I would become so immersed in the practices. I started attending a local temple every week and doing as many retreats as possible. As time went on I slowly put together an altar, something I said I would never do, and developed a solid meditation practice.

Discovering the deep spiritual web below the practical meditation teachings was a treasure trove for me. Having always been averse to religion any form of ritual was a put-off for most of my life. Through meditation and the teachings I learned to soften my approach to my beliefs. I began questioning everything I thought was fact.

I would never be one to tell anyone what they should or shouldn’t do. And I am still averse to organized religion but I do think there is real tranformative power in seeking our spiritual dimension(s). We are not mortals that die and join a spiritual plane, we are spirit briefly enjoying the mortal plane.

Bridging Meditation And Family Life

There are many challenges when entering a family and I defintely overlooked the depth to which they would affect me. Dealing with a teenage girl, in addition to my own, was challenge enough. Her twelve year old son was not happy about my presence at all. As well as these challenges her mother lived in an in-law apartment and was in the habit of just coming over, constantly.

Meditation seemed like the key to dealing with my stress, and for the most part it has been. I was able to sit with these interactions in my meditation and allow myself to go outside my own perception and work at seeing all sides. I repeated, and continue to repeat, this process often to much benefit. Realizing and understanding others points of view allows such tremendous growth and just makes life easier.

Another dimension to the life-practice blend is bringing awareness and mindfulness into our daily interactions. Noticing the subtle shift of emotions during a conversations or our need to be “right” or interject. Being aware of little things that need doing, a piece of paper on the floor, dishes to be put away, etc., and doing them. Just allowing ourselves to be of assitance to those around us will bring about immense change.

Utilizing Meditation At Work

Very much like at home we can utilize the same strategies in the workplace. Although we employ the same priciples you may find the flavor of these practices very different based on the relationship to the person. Trying to be understanding and vulnerable doesn’t translate well in the worplace, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try.

When dealing with difficult co-workers and subordinates, returning to the breath has helped me quite a bit. Sometimes, though, I do have to just walk away and to compose myself. This is definitely depends on your relationship with the personas it can be seen as insulting. If you are open with others beforehand about your motivations there is little need for anyone to take anything personally at work. Just my opinion.

Another obstacle at work may be monotony. This was once a burden to me, until I found meditation. Doing menial tasks or filling up down time while waiting for the next assignment is perfect opportunity to practice now. The beauty of bringing meditation to the workplace is this is one of the more difficult environments to practice in, so, if we can pratice here we can take it anywhere. This not only offers us a more peaceful life but it is a gift that extends to those around us as well.

Much farther than we realize.

Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh

I was never fortunate enough to attend a retreat with Thay or visit any of his monasteries, yet. I did, however, get to hear him speak once and attend a meditation the following day. This was during his 2013 visit to the United States.

Double Pilgrimage

Living about an hour away from Boston, attending back to back events wasn’t out of the question. Logistics was the real question. After some inner deliberation I decided the best plan would be to take the train in. The first day, Saturday, was interesting to say the least. There was another event on the common that same day. There were no distressing moments, just a lot more people than I expected.

Trinity Church is an historic, beautiful landmark on its own, the austerity of the day was not lost on me. My seats were in the balcony overlooking the side of the stage area. When Thay appeared he seemed to float to his prepared seat. His talk would probably be considered pretty standard for him but there were definitely some moving moments for me.

The next day, another train ride, this time with my meditation cushion (zafu) for a public meditation in Copley Square (pictured above). I am still in awe when I think back to the peaceful refuge that small piece of inner city became for a short time.

This Piece of Paper

One moment I will never forget was his simple teaching on impermanence. Holding up a piece of paper, Thay explained the interbeing of right and left within the paper. Not only was this an important teaching in inter-connection but it was also the beginning of the end for my hard set concepts.

It wasn’t just the words he spoke or even the content or intent. The biggest impact had to be his all encompasing presence. Never before had I encountered such a palpable energy from anyone, or since. I left the church feeling on top of the world and very much looking forward to the next day which was going to be a public guided meditation by Thay in front of Trinity Church in Copley Square (pictured above).

Continuation

Thay continues on in so many different forms. He always taught there is no death just a continuation. His words have never been more apparent than since his transition from this realm. His presence is seen, felt, and shared around the world and will continue to be for some time. We were blessed to witness and experience such a being in our lifetime. My heart goes out to all the OI (Order of Interbeing) members and direct students of Thay. His loss is immeasurable and the blessings he bestowed were inconceivable. The world is truly a better place because of him and Blue Collar Buddhist wouldn’t be here today.

After searching online and trying to decide where to begin I registered for a weeekend retreat at the Barre Center for Buddhist Studies (BCBS). It was a weekend on relationships and fell on Valentines weekend 2014. Turns out it was more of a workshop format and less meditation focused, quite a suprise!

Uncomfortable? Um, yes!

First night, first exercise I’m knee to knee with a man a couple decades my elder looking into each others eyes in silence before we begin. Then the didactic exercises start. This format would become familiar to me over the next few years. The teachers for this weekend were two Zen priests from NYC, Robert Chodo Campbell and Koshin Paley Ellison. These two opened and entered my heart that weekend and would become a beacon for me on my path.

Finally some direction!

Another key moment of the weekend came when the aforementioned gentleman from the the first exercise introduced me to Mu Soeng. At the time he was the resident scholar at BCBS. He asked me into his office and asked me what questions I had. I feel the need to explain that I am a very shy person and in no way wanted an impromtu meeting with this, to me, extremely intimidating character.

Mu Soeng has white hair and peircing blue eyes that become welcoming almost immediately. I explained how registering for this weekend was a step toward learning meditation. He immediately said, “Don’t come here to learn meditaion, go to IMS next door.” I expressed my reservations at going on a week long retreat, his response ” You teach a baby to swim by throwing them in the water, not by dipping their toe.”

When I got home from that weekend I started looking into what retreats were being offered at IMS. I registered for a 7 day retreat that coming August. But the teachings were to unfold more surprises before then.

My first lessons on sitting meditation, like many people, were from books and a few you tube videos. After approximately eight months I tried a small group in town but it didn’t really resonate with me. Online searches brought me to a small charitable organisation, Jhamtse International, that also had some small group (sangha) meetings. They offered one about twenty minutes away so I started going to it. I stayed with this group for a little while and was introduced to a temple the next town over from my home. The temple is run by a few Vietnamese nuns. It was here that I started learning the teachings of Thich Nhat Hanh, known affectionately as Thay (pronounced tie, it means teacher). I found his teachings not only practicle but simply profound. For me, he speaks with an unmatched clarity among contemporaries.

I was attending the temple only a couple months when I learned Thay was coming to Boston to give a talk and lead a meditation over two days. This was my first time knowingly experiencing a spiritual presence, Thay seemed to float across the stage and the energy emitted form his being was palpable, at least to me. This experience only deepened my intention to explore Buddhism.

I signed up for what I thought was a weekend meditation retreat, my first. Turns out it was more like a workshop on relationships. More on that in a later post. This first weekend introduced me to some of the most influential people in my life for the next five years, and more. A brief meeting with the then Resident Scholar at BCBS (Barre Center for Buddhist Studies), Mu Soeng, led me to book a 7 day silent retreat at IMS (Insight Meditation Society), in Barre, MA.

This 7 day retreat turned everything around for me and I settled into a much deeper practice than would have been possible without such guidance. From posture and leg positions to intention and doubt, most of these areas were covered in the first night which made for an extremely fruitful and beneficial week. I will share some of this in future posts as well as other practices I have been introduced to and some I continue to practice regularly. Stay tuned…

Some connections in life seem inevitable and still others, entirely improbable. The latter is the condition of this sacred bond.

When I moved into what turned out to be a storm of chaos in my mind, I had no idea that I would dislike the dog. Dogs are the one being I have always connected with. He seemed a little excitable but it turns out he was the least behaved dog I had ever lived with. To make matters worse he started marking his territory, inside, after I moved in. I have always loved dogs but Riley was trying my patience.

Fast forward a couple years and I find myself in bed with the aforementioned (previous post) pinched nerve. I stayed in bed for a solid ten days then started moving around a bit. After a couple weeks I was working again but only part time, luckily I was on salary at the time and I was able to manage most of my duties on short hours. Throughout this entire process, whenever I would lie back down for some relief, there was Riley at my bedside.

I didn’t pay much attention at first, mainly focusing on the pain and projecting my anger outward. Slowly I realized just how empathic Riley was and also how much he cared for me. Our relationship blossomed from there and he became the best friend I’ve ever had. There will be more stories of Riley, he was very special, but for now this will suffice.

My marriage of 17 years was ending, we were separated but I was still living in the house. Our house had been a two family so I moved upstairs. It was apparent after a few months that this arraignment wasn’t going to work for me.

I had already re-connected with an old friend and we had started dating. It didn’t take long for us to decide that I would move in with her. After many ups and downs I’m still here and we’ve been happily married for five years.

Early on there were plenty of struggles, which led to my stress induced pinched nerve, which led me to my path. I moved into a home with 2 children, 18 and 12, and a mother-in-law apartment where her mother lives. The dynamic of my wife’s family is so different from anything I had experienced. I still struggle with it.

I’ve learned to cope with it better than before but I am at no means at peace with it. I do, however, appreciate the teachings these experiences have given. Life gives us many opportunities to learn and grow. Probably the most important of which I will speak of in my next post.

Thursday May 26, 2012, early evening. I spent the afternoon cleaning up the patio. Having taken Friday off I was looking forward to a 4 day weekend, retiring to bed exhausted and happy. Friday morning I found myself in incredible pain. The left side of my neck, across the shoulder was locked up tight, solid as a rock. I spent the next couple months working sparingly and trying any method possible for relief.

Like a Lightening Bolt It Hit Me!

One miserable afternoon, while going through my mental list of people to blame for the stress in my life, something stopped. Suddenly I had the realization that it was merely my reactions to these people and events that were the true cause of my suffering.
Eager to find a way to better manage my mental turmoil I started considering meditation. I knew Buddhists meditated, and I admired the Dalai Lama, so I got a book on Buddhism. Randomly selected, partially because the forward was written by Herbie Hancock I got The Buddha in Your Mirror. This book helped me connect to my earliest feelings about my role in the cosmos. Something that had long been suppressed by decades of conditioning and social pressures.

Truly Interconnected

The feeling that life, as it had been presented to me, was unsatisfactory, was a constant companion throughout my life. Constantly striving, never truly content with any station or position as it came. Always longing for something simpler, I believed I had found it. Even though Buddhism resonated immediately I continued to explore other mystical traditions. Coming back to Buddhism each time. I started meditating every day and slowly increased my time on the cushion. Finally I had found a path that resonated within me.

Hello, Welcome to Blue Collar Buddhist. I hope my experiences and stories resonate with you. We are all so uniquely individual and at the same time inextricably connected. Such is the paradox of life. My intent is to write about some of my experiences or teachings I’ve heard, as well as daily interactions and whether or not my practice was present and to what outcome. This can also become a virtual place of refuge if we ao desire, an online temple.

I’m sure, if you are receptive, you will always find something useful. At least that is my hope. So please keep an open mind, and “virtual” ear, as we travel this path together.